Day 52: Workout

Anyone's life truly lived consists of work, sunshine, exercise, soap, plenty of fresh air, and a happy contented spirit.  - Lillie Langtry

Finally got back in the gym tonight, after about a month off. Felt great to get back in the gym. Thought I was barely going to make it through my workout routine, but actually did longer than I usually do on each machine.

I need to make working out a routine, a mandatory, necessary routine. It's good for me, and there is no excuse not to other than laziness. I have plenty of time to go to the gym, and I really need to be going to the gym.

I want to have a work out routine, and go at least 3 or 4 times a week, for at least an hour. I'm 25 years old, and by medical standards I'm 'obese'. I need to lose weight, I must lose weight. I must get in better shape. I am not happy with my body physically, it's frustrating, and disgusting. If I'm going to be a nurse, I need to lose weight. To be able to be active, and on my feet all day in a job, I need to be in better shape.

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, squats, leg lifts of 75 lbs, arms 75 lbs on a couple different machines. It really felt great afterwards. I wasn't wore out, but my muscles were sore, and it felt good. Worked out for about an hour.

Last time I was at the doctor he told me my blood pressure is slightly high, and my cholesterol is slightly high. He told me I need to be more active, and work out more; and to eliminate stress. Working out will do all of that, will get me more active, and eliminate stress.

It's amazing how much better you feel mentally and physically after working out. It's a naturally high. The release of endorphins, and the energy you get is incredible. Being lazy is not worth it.

Now that it's getting to be spring, it makes it a lot easier to be more active as well. I need to get outside more, and enjoy the weather now. Go for walks, go out and take pictures, be more active.

Workout more. Lose weight. Be in better shape. Be in a better mood. Have more energy.

Day 51: Regrets

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” - Fulton Oursler

Often in life I've said I've regretted things I have done, said, and things I haven't done. It's time to live without regrets. Life happens. Things happen. Lessons happen. You live you learn, you grow. You can't just bottle up your life and hold it inside regretting every mistake, and failure you've made. Make the things right that you can, learn from everything, and work towards your future. That's all you can do.

Mistakes are only mistakes if you learn from them, and change how you react to the situations in the future. It's not a mistake if you'll continuously repeat it over and over again. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different outcome. If you continue to do what you've been doing all along, how do you ever expect anything to change?

You have to do things differently to get a different outcome. You have to learn from your mistakes. You have to behave differently. A mistake that's continuously repeated, is not a mistake, it's a natural behavior. That's where my problem lies. Many of my actions, are not mistakes, as I've repeated them so many times in my life; that they're second nature, natural behaviors.

I can't ever regret anything, as everything I've done, is what I wanted to do at the moment. Be it good or bad, it's obviously what I wanted at the moment. Living in the moment will often bite you in the ass. You have to keep focused on your ultimate goals, and not sacrifice anything to reach them. Every mistake, failure, and mis-step that I have made, was made for a reason. They were made by the choices I make, and my own behavior. Be it right or wrong. I am who I am. It's time to better myself, for me, now.

Day 50: Discretion

Discretion -
1 : the quality of being discreet : circumspection; especially : cautious reserve in speech
2 : ability to make responsible decisions
3 a : individual choice or judgment b : power of free decision or latitude of choice within certain legal bounds
4 : the result of separating or distinguishing


Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable. - Jean de La Fontaine


Discretion. What an important word, that can be applied to life in so many ways. Words are so important. I need to expand my vocabulary, and communication skills. We all should practice more discretion in our lives. Today with the internet, and social networking communities, we often lose our discretion, and put our lives out there too much. Not everyone needs to know every last little detail of your life.

Discretion also applies to your conversations, and your behaviors. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I need to practice filtering what I say more often, thinking about what I'm saying before I say it. I need to behave this way as well, thinking about what I'm doing before I'm doing it. Have some discretion, some self control. Make responsible, mature decisions. I'm an adult, I need to talk like one, and behave like one, at all times.

No one wants to be around someone who has no discretion over what he says or does. It's annoying, immature, and child like. Irresponsible. Everyone doesn't want to hear every little problem I have, or every emotion I'm feeling. They don't want to know everything about me. They don't need to know everything about me. At least I had discretion enough to only share this blog with a select few people that I actually know.

Every day is a new day, with a small step forward. One step at a time I'm getting to where I want to be.

Day 49: Cooking

When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.  -Laiko Bahrs

I want to learn to cook more. I've cooked in two restaurants, and I really enjoyed it. Cooking is a lot of fun. I love to cook for others, and I want to expand my cooking and baking skills.

Cooking food, is healthier, and cheaper than going out to eat constantly, or eating ready prepared foods. I want to eat healthier, and cook more often. Cooking for one doesn't have to mean TV Dinners, or something out of can. I should be able to cook a healthy meal for myself, and enjoy it.

Cooking is a great skill to have, and it is fun. It will expand my regular diet, and will help me not just eat the same things over and over again. I really enjoy cooking for others, having family and friends over and cooking dinner. I should do that more often.

My family was supposed to come over this weekend, but we're planning it for next weekend. I'm excited for that. Not sure what I should cook for them yet. Last time I cooked spaghetti, and a fresh salad. Was really good. That was a long time ago though. Could cook that again, since it is simple, and I know how to do it. Or I could expand my skills and try something new. I'll have to see what everyone else feels like having.

I've stopped eating fast food, and am doing good at that. When I've gone to lunch at work, I've tried to go with healthier choices like Subway, and Quiznos subs, rather than Taco Bell and McDonalds constantly. It really makes you feel a lot better eating healthier. I need to get back in the gym this week as well and work out.

This week, cook something new, and get in the gym.

Day 48: Laughter

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.  - Josh Billings

Laugh often. Have fun. Always smile.

Laughter is the best medicine. It's such a stress reliever, and very relaxing. Had a lot of fun this weekend, after having a very long work week. Worked 10 days in a row, and it seemed like it was never going to end. Finally the weekend arrived.

Don't let a day go by without laughing. Life is too short to be serious all the time. Sometimes you have to have fun, kick back, and laugh. I love the feelings of laughing. I love when I laugh so hard my stomach hurts, and I can't breath, even if it is slightly painful.

It's amazing how quickly you can laugh, and forget everything else. Stress just disappears. A smile comes to your face. I laugh really easily about the silliest things which helps a lot. I love to laugh. I can't count how many times I've laughed so hard I've spit my drink out, often embarrassing, but entirely hilarious.

Sometimes the best thing you can do in a difficult situation, is to just laugh it off and move on. Let it be. You can't control everything, you can't fix everything. Just let it go, and laugh it off. Laugh off the excessive seriousness. Laugh off the stress. Laugh off your depression. Laugh off your tears.

Live, love and laugh.

Day 47: Plan

Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you ready or not, to put this plan into action. - Napoleon Hill

I need to create a plan for action for my life. A plan for my future, for my goals, and how I expect to reach them. I can't continue just living life, thinking that life is just going to happen. I have to take actions, and make things happen in my life for me. I have bits and pieces of the plan in action right now, but the plan is not perfected. It's incomplete.

I need to figure out how I'm going to become a Nurse. Am I going to sit on this wait list forever, and eventually become a Nurse in several years? Or am I going to transfer schools, and become a Nurse sooner? I need to explore my options.

Am I going to live in Michigan forever? What am I going to do right now to be able to survive until I become a Nurse? How am I going to survive while I go through Nursing school? Am I going to continue to work at the same job that I hate all the way through Nursing school?

Should I explore my photography skills, and start taking photography classes as well. Something I could make an extra income from, if I developed my passion in it further. I should start offering my computer services to make extra money as well. I need to work harder for me. I need to do better. I need to study harder.

Life isn't just going to all of sudden happen. I'm not going to wake up some day and all of sudden be a Nurse, making the salary that I desire, with the wife, dog, and 2.5 kids. It doesn't happen like that. You have to work for success. Anything worth achieving is not reached easily.

I need to determine what my goals are, and make a plan to achieve them. With steps that I can actually take, and notable accomplishments along the way, to see my progress. Determine my goals, make a plan, and put it in to action.

Day 46: Confidence

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  - Norman Vincent Peale

I've always struggled with self-confidence. Mostly because of my own failures, and I'm my own worst critic. I tear myself down, and don't value myself very highly. I pick at my flaws, instead of trying to fix them. I hate this about me. I know I am a good person. I make mistakes, I let people down, I hurt people, I embarrass people, but I am still a good person. I am going to be a great person.

I am a nice person. I am kind, considerate, and respectful. I'm always willing to help others, and care more about making others happy then myself. I am not selfish. I am worthy of happiness, and greatness. I need to have more confidence in myself, not to the point of arrogance, but to the point of independent true self-confidence.

I want to have a good level of self-confidence, that's not cocky, but respectable. I want to be able to live without the fear of failures, and know that I will get through things. I need to identify my successes more often, and be proud of myself and what I've done. I need to recognize my insecurities, and work on those areas of my life. I want to learn to accept a compliment, or gift, without being embarrassed and responding inappropriately.

I want to be less sensitive, and to learn how to take a joke. Learn how to accept constructive criticism, and to ignore insults. Stop being serious all the time, and learn to have fun, smile, and laugh every day. I can't crumble at the slightest joke, and lash out at others. I cannot be overly sensitive. I don't want to be shy. I want to learn to talk to others without feeling embarrassed. I want to learn to control the tone and volume of my voice. I don't want to snap on a whim. I don't want to hurt people, or embarrass people. I don't want to disappoint myself or others ever again.

I need to be thankful for what I have, accept my failures, proud of my achievements, focused on my goals, and remember that no one is perfect. I can only try my best, and give 100% of myself every day; if I something doesn't go right then, at least I know I did all that I can do. Failure is not an option, success is the only option. I need to stop looking for acceptance from others, and only require my own approval.

Be emotionally strong, and know who I am. Do not be weak. Stand tall. Be proud of who I am. Present myself well, and be confidently me. I am a good person. I will become a great person. I have goals, that I will attain. I am worthy of true happiness.

Day 45: Wants

I know exactly what I want. Everything. Calm, peace, tranquility,
freedom, fun, happiness. If I could make all that one word, I would - a
many-syllabled word. - Johnny Depp

We all have wants within us we hope to fulfill. Our true hart desires. The things we ware most passionate about. The things that fill our thoughts and time. Sometimes these wants overwhelm us, and it kills our productivity. It kills our soul, and we begin to focus too much on what we do not have and only on what we want. We begin to think that our wants are our needs, and that our needs are just given rights. That is foolish and naive.

There is nothing wrong with having wants, desires, but you must know that they are wants. That you don't need them. That in not having them, you're not going to die. Once you know this, you can work towards your goals, and achieving your wants appropriately. Follow your heart. Do not deceive yourself what your true desires are. Never give up what you want most, for what you want at the moment. Trust your heart.

My Wants:

• To Become a Nurse
• Happiness
• Good friends
• True love
• To Always have fun.
• To Laugh often.
• Become a better photographer
• My own family some day.
• To be wanted.

Those are my wants in this world. It's true as the line goes, the best things in life are free. Nearly everyone shares these same desires. Who doesn't want success? Happiness? Love? Family? To be wanted? Most people would agree that they want some or all of these same things.

Wants do not outweigh needs, but they are important in life as well. Just always remember your needs being fulfilled are more important, and that your wants are not necessities in life. Don't make someone feel like you need them, no one wants to feel needed. They want to feel wanted. Don't focus too much on your career that you forget to have fun, and enjoy life. Don't focus only on having fun either. Evenly direct your focus on your goals so you can achieve them, in the proper fashion. Don't let anything stop you from getting what you want in life.

Don't ever forget what you truly want in life.

Day 44: Needs

“Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs” - William Howard Stein

Often in life, we get distracted, and we lose focus on our ultimate desires. We begin to confuse wants with needs, using them as one in the same; when they are completely different. We get greedy, and weak. We begin to think we need everything, and want even more.

You begin to convince yourself, that your wants are your needs, and that they're one in the same. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I know I've often fell guilty of this as well. I get ungrateful for what I have, and that my needs are fulfilled in life, and that my wants are truly wants; and not necessities.

Here are my needs.

• Water
• Food
• Shelter
• Career
• Happiness

If I have those 5 needs, my life is complete. That is all that is necessary to live a successful and happy life. We all need to learn a more simplistic life, and be grateful for what we have. We do not need everything under the sun. We do not need to be consumed with greed, and wanting desires.

We must maintain our needs, and fulfill them. Do not confuse your wants, with your needs. The next time you think you need something, just think to yourself, can you live without it; in most cases you can. There are very few necessities in this world, that you absolutely have to have. 

There is nothing wrong with having wants, but you must keep them separate from your needs, and never confuse the too. 

We do not need relationships. We do not need love. We want love. We do not need girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives. We want them, and they are amazing, when the time is right, but it is not a need. It may feel like a need, and it will help complete the need of happiness, but it cannot be the key to your happiness. There are many wants that will help fulfill your needs, but they are not needs. You must learn to be independently happy, and to enjoy life; and fulfill your needs on your own, before you can truly love.

Never confuse wants with needs.

Day 43: Intention

"It is not good enough for things to be planned - they still have to be done; for the intention to become a reality, energy has to be launched into operation.” - Walt Kelly

I've been thinking a lot about my intentions lately. As the character of a man, can be judged by his intentions. Are your intentions where they should be? Are you intentions in line with your goals? Intention to change is not change. You have to actually make the changes, but the first step is the intention to change. After you have your intentions correct, then you can begin to make steps forward towards your goals.

Thinking about changing, and continuously talking about changing, is just a waste of time and breath. It gets you no where. Sometimes talking helps, and is needed; but it's not action. It's not productive. Change has to be made in your heart, your mind, and your soul. You have to focus on your ultimate goals, and make a straight line for them. The shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line. Taking any other route would be a waste of time. Live to your maximum potential.

Keep the correct intentions in your mind in your heart; and put your intentions in to your behaviors and your actions. Keep your word. Be honest. Be real, and face reality. Accept the things you cannot change, and have courage to change the things that you can.

Do not accept anything less than your best. Do not settle for anything less than your ultimate desires. Nothing worth while is achieved easily. Do the hard thing, and get what you want. Create yourself. Self-justification: Making yourself right in your own eyes.