Day 79: Listen

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” - Kenneth A. Wells

To be a good conversationalist, friend, and employee; I need to be a good listener. Listen before speaking. Think before speaking. Do not interrupt. Do not jump to conclusions. Listen, then think, then speak. Shut up and listen!

I really enjoy a good conversation, but I will admit I am not a good listener. I interrupt people, I jump to conclusions, trying to predict where the sentence is going before you even complete it. It's rude, and ignorant. Even if the conversation is predictable, it's still not appropriate to interrupt them, or to tune them out.

I need to be a better listener, to others and to myself. For others, and for myself. I need to hear both what people say, and the inaudible things in life. Not everything you can hear, do you actually hear. There are verbal, and nonverbal things you can listen to. Actions speak louder than words.

I need to learn to listen closely, and response appropriately.

Even when you hear things I don't agree with, or I don't like, I can still listen; and respect what's being said. Learn to take constructive criticism to heart, without getting defensive, and attacking. No one deserves to be yelled at. There's no excuse to snap. Speak softly. Speak less, listen more.

Stop. Collaborate and listen.

Day 78: My Bucket List

1. Get a piercing. (did when I was 18, lip and ear, both still pierced)
2. Get a tattoo (did August 2007, I was 22, plan to get more though)
3. Go SkyDiving
4. Go to the Olympics (planning on London 2012)
5. Go to London. (done twice so far)
6. Go to Paris (been there once so far, want to go back)
7. Go to Italy
8. Go to all 50 states.
9. Get married.
10. Have children
11. Go to Las Vegas (went in 2009)
12. Ride in a hot air balloon.
13. Go back to college. (went back in fall of '08, been attending since).
14. Be debt free.
15. Own a house.
16. Live alone.
17. Walk on the Wall of China
18. Go to Mackinaw Island
19. Go to Joshua Tree National Park
20. Drive on Route 66
21. Celebrate New Years Eve in NYC.
22. Learn to run a mile without stopping.
23. Ice Skate in Rockefeller Plaza (2003)
24. Walk through Central Park.(2003)
25. Create a book of my photography.
26. Be thankful every day.
27. Own season tickets for the Detroit Pistons.
28. Build a computer. (2007)
29. See the sunrise from a mountain top.
30. Go to Australia
31. See the Giant Stone Heads of Easter Island.
32. Go white water rafting.
33. Go exploring in a cave.
34. Be a great son, boyfriend, husband, father and hopefully grandfather.
35. Smile everyday.
36. Laugh everyday.
37. Join a photography club.
38. Teach someone else something.
39. Impact at least 1 persons life for the good.
40. Help a complete stranger.
41. Ride horses on the beach.
42. Go on a picnic, and have crackers, cheese, fruit and wine.
43. Own a telescope
44. Worry less
45. Become closer with my family, and ensure that I have a close family of my own some day.
46. Get accepted into the nursing program at HFCC. (December 2008)
47. Become a registered nurse.
48. Learn to play the piano/keyboard again.
49. Make love on the beach under the stars.
50. Own some cool fish.
51. Weigh less than 200 lbs, and never go back over.
52. Be more punctual.
53. Fall in deep passionate unconditional endless love.
54. Don't pick stupid fights.
55. Don't sweat the small stuff.
56. Not be so loud.
57. Never go to sleep angry.
58. Don't put up with bullshit from anyone.
59. Be more assertive.
60. Live like I'm dying.
61. Go to the Kentucky Derby.
62. Scan/Digitize all of my pictures.
63. Learn to cook more.
64. Take a picture every day for a year.
65. Take my camera with me more often.
66. Be more considerate of others.
67. Go to a Michigan bowl game. (Orange Bowl, performed halftime show with BHS marching band, January 1, 2000)
68. Go to the Michigan vs OSU football game. 
69. Meet a celebrity and get a picture taken with them. (once so far....Willy Horton)
70. Go to Hawaii
71. Own a brand new car.
72. Go on a cruise.
73. Read a new book once every 2 months.
74. Become  better photographer, per-sue classes, and side work in it.
75. Make some money on the side with my IT/Computer skills.
76. Kiss in the rain.
77. Kiss under the stars.
78. Witness a miracle.
79. Own a boat.
80. Be a part of a team.


[This is a work in progress, as I come up with more, and complete more, I will edit it further]


[Those items in bold, have yet to be completed, items not bold I have done]

Day 77: God

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela

Every day I wake up and Thank God for giving me a new day. Thank him for my family, my friends, for everything that he's given me. God has made me in to who I am today, and is making me into who I am to be tomorrow. He's amazing, and gracious.

When no one else is around, when I'm feeling all alone; God is there with me. He will comfort me. I like being able to pray to him, and talk to him. It's nice knowing he is always there for me, even when I don't deserve him. He's protected me in my life, time and time again. He's giving me hope and strength, when I've had none. He's given me an amazing family, that I love dearly.

God has given me the strength to make it on my own. To be able to live alone, to survive alone financially; even when my job sucks. Even when things get tough, I still make it.

Without God, my family, and my friends; I would not be who I am today. They are my strength. They are there for me when I need them most. When I need someone to talk to, someone to help fix my car, someone to hang out with, they are there. People will always let you down at some point, but God will never let me down.

I am a child of God, and I am worthy of greatness, of happiness, of success.

Never lose your faith in God. Trust in him, and know that he is always there for you, no matter what.

Day 76: Before I Die

“Every man dies - Not every man really lives.” - William Ross Wallace

What do you want to do before you die?

That's a question I'm sure we all think about time and time again. I know I've thought about it most of my life, adding things to it, and sometimes revising previous items I had in my head of what I wanted to do. Our plans change. Our lives change.

What we want most, and what we want to achieve usually doesn't change much throughout our lives. What want to do most, what we want to achieve; this is our bucket list.

Most of us want a lot of the same things. We want happiness, love, family, and success. But then there are the little things we want to achieve. The fun places we want to go. The dumb things we want to say we experienced. The life we want to live. What is it that you want to do? What is that I want to do?

I want to feel alive. When I look back at life, I want to know that I lived, and I did the things I wanted to. I want to feel like I accomplished and achieved. I want to live every day like it's my last, and be proud of who I am.

Live before I die.

I want to live, and love. I want a family. I want a career that I enjoy. I want to travel. I want to do things, I want to see things. I want to experience life. I want to smile, laugh, and have fun.

I'm working on my bucket list. What's on your bucket list? Are you really living?

Day 75: Faith

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” - Gail Devers

In order to achieve greatness, success, or anything you want; I must have faith. I'm the only one who I can rely on to believe in myself. I have to know that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I've never failed myself on that one before. If I put my best effort in to achieving something, I will achieve it. I will earn it. I deserve it.

No one knows what I can achieve more than myself. No one believes in me like I do. No one knows who I really am inside, and how great of a person I really am. I am amazing. I am someone. I am important. I'm not cocky, or stuck up, but I do have a great sense of confidence in myself when it comes down to it. I thank God for who I am every day. I thank him for bringing me to this point in my life, and helping me achieve the things that I have; while motivating me to go further.

Sometimes I  have to let go of all doubts, and fears of failure. I have to rely on myself, and follow my heart. Don't question anything, and just do what I do. Trust in my heart 100%, and know what I want; and go for it. Never losing focus, and never giving up. All things worth having, be them great or small, are worth every bit of effort it takes to obtain them.

I can't get frustrated, I can't let myself down. There is no other option but success. I need to focus on my abilities, my talents, my skills, and reach for my dreams.

Day 74: Interruption

“Noise is the most impertinent of all forms of interruption. It is not only an interruption, but is also a disruption of thought.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

I have a horrible habit, a learned behavior that I've never corrected. It's party caused by my ADD, and partly because I've put enough effort in to correcting myself. I interrupt people. I interrupt people a lot, and often. It's extremely rude, and immature. It makes me seem arrogant, and disrespectful. It's very unintentional when I do it, but it's not excusable.

With how often I do it, it seems like I don't care what others have to say; when I really do care what they have to say. I enjoy listening to others, yet I always feel some need to interrupt there story, or what they're saying to insert my two cents. It's rude, very disrespectful, and it's not every excusable. It's a very poor way to communicate with someone.

No one wants to talk to someone that constantly interrupts them, and makes it seem like what they have to say is not valid or means nothing. It makes them feel like they're wasting they're breathe and time with you, and that what they have to say means nothing to me. I have to learn how to control this, and be a better listener, and wait my turn to say something. I can't just interrupt someone in the middle of a story. What I have to say, is no more important than what they have to say. Often it's a question, about what they're saying, or a snarky remark about what their saying. If I waited till they finished what they had to say, my questions would be answered, and I'd understand what they're trying to say.

I'm going back to the ADD doctor soon, and should start medication soon as  well. Hopefully this helps me focus, and helps me correct this behavior that I've allowed myself to do for far too long.

Day 73: Positivity

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours” - Swedish Proverb

Live a positive life. Think positively. Remove the negative thoughts and the negativity in life.

I want to succeed, and be successful in all that I do, I need to be more optimistic, and hopeful about life and my future. I have to live life, and take risks. Without taking risks, you never know what you can gain and achieve. Life is amazing when you live it, and let life be.

I need to smile more, and think more positively. Stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen, and the possibility of failure. Planning for the possibility of failure, is setting yourself up to accept failure. Failure in life is not an option, at any time, at any moment, for anything. Failure is miserable, and it has no

Wake up and smile, breath in, relax, enjoy life. Go for a walk, go to the gym. Love life, and let life be. Life is too damn short to be miserable. Time just flies by, and the only guaranteed is the moment we're living in right now. Enjoy every moment, live life to the fullest.

Positive people, attract more positive people. Like attracts like. Negativity just breeds more negativity. No one wants to be around negative people. People love to be around positive people.

Day 72: Job

“The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week” - Robert Frost

I need to start looking for a new job, and really actually looking. Apply for jobs, get some interviews, try.

I got frustrated after the last couple job interviews I went through more than a year ago, and decided to stick with the company I'm currently with, even though it's not a good job. I'm not making enough money, and the job is not worth it. Driving a half hour to work, for a job that doesn't pay much, really isn't worth it.

I've stuck with it because it is full time work, and I have to be thankful that I'm employed in this economy. I have benefits, and they offer tuition reimbursement which has helped me with my pre-Nursing classes. But in the end, I need to work to better my career opportunities. There are not many opportunities in my company for advancement, and with the economic state of the company, there is not much job security.

I need more money, and a job that will give me more opportunities for advancement, and a future. I'd prefer a job that is not open 24 hours a day, at least until I'm a Nurse. I should look in to getting a job at a hospital, something that could help me with my future career.

While I know I'm not going to be a Nurse for at least a couple years, I need to continue to work, and better my career opportunities.

Get an interview.

Day 70: Confidence

“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”

I know who I am.

I need to have more pride and confidence in myself. Confidence is attractive.

I am a pretty awesome person. I am fun to be around. I'm kind, giving, and considerate. Those that I care about, I'm always here for, no matter what. Treat me with respect, and I'll treat you with respect. I am a handsome guy, and I have a baby face.

I'm not perfect, and I have made my fair share of mistakes, some of them repeatedly. In the end I learned, and grew from my mistakes. It's all you can do. You fix what you can, leave the things be that you can't, and learn from all of it. Life is a roller coaster. You have to hold on tight, and prepare yourself for the next drop.

I know who I am, and I know what I want in life. I know I am a good person. I know that I am not perfect. I know I will make mistakes in the future. I know I have good morals, and good judgement. I know I will be a great boyfriend, husband, and father some day. I know I am going to be a great Nurse some day. I can't wait for that.

I know I am a great son, brother, and friend to those in my life.

I have no regrets in this life. I've lived, and learned. The things I've done and said and done in the past, do not represent who I am. They are a part of who I am. Every day is a learning experience, preparing me for tomorrow. I live each day to the best of my ability, the way that I want to live it, with no regrets.

I am who I am, and that's all I can be. Like me, love me, or hate me. I'm real. I'm genuine. I am me, that's all I'll ever be. I'm a sinner, I'm not a saint. Don't judge me. I am only me, and that's who I want to be.

Live life, and love it.

Day 69: No Tomorrow

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Live every day as if there is no tomorrow. Don't worry so much about the future, and stress about the unknowns. Live every day as if it were your last. If you died tonight in your sleep, would you die happy, knowing you lived your last day as your best day?

You can only plan, and work so much for tomorrow; but in the end it is the unknown. You can't predict everything that is going to happen. We don't know what the future holds for any of us. You can only live each day, one day at a time, and make today what you want it to be. Make the right choices, the right decisions, and be happy with who you are today.

Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. As cheesey and cliche as that line is, it is the truth. We need to be thankful for today, and hopeful for tomorrow. There is no promise of tomorrow. We're lucky to have today, and we're lucky we had yesterday and the days before that.

Take what you've learned from yesterday, your mistakes, failures, achievements and successes. Apply them to your life today, and make today even better than yesterday.

Only you have the power to change your life. Only you can decide how you're going to live. You have to make the choice on your own.

I have to make these choices on my own. To be a better person, to live each day as if it were my last. To not regret my past, but be thankful for it. The past made me who I am today. Without it, I wouldn't be me. I've made a lot of mistakes, done a lot of shameful things, but in the end I'm only me. The past can't define who I am today, or who I am in the future. The past is only a part of the story. I'm writing the story, I can change it at any time. I am in control of my future.

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul

Day 68: Effort

“In all human affairs there are efforts and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result” - James Allen

Apply some effort, some real thought, with physical, and mental activity, to achieve your goals. Don't be careless, do things half heartedly, applying little to no effort; and then expect great results. You will only disappoint yourself. It's one thing to disappoint others, but when you disappoint yourself it's much worse. It hurts, and is very frustrating.

If you have something you want to achieve, if you have something you truly desire; then putting forth 110% effort 100% of the time should be very little to ask for. Anything worth achieving, is worth working hard for. Success does not come easy.

Don't give up when you make mistakes, or things don't go exactly as you plan them to. As long as you know you put in all the effort and thought that you could, then there is nothing else you can do. Just do your best, and you can't be disappointed in yourself. The outcome may not always be what you wanted, but you'll know you did all that you could.

You can't control everything. You can't control the outcome. You can only control yourself, and your actions. What others do, and what the outcome is, are out of your control. Just do your part, and let the rest do it's part. Take each day one day at a time, waking up, and striving to do the best that you can.  Don't be disappointed by others, or the outcome. Just let things be what they are. Nothing ever goes as you expect it go to. You just have to let things be.

Don't stress about the little things. Let things be. Put 110% effort 100% of the time with everything in your life.

Day 67: Exams

“Why Study For Exams.... Are they not about what you know, not about how much you can cram into your head the night before?”

Took 2 exams tonight. Got an 80% on the first one, and not sure how I did on the 2nd one. Second one was a lab exam, with only 25 questions. Professor gave us 3 of the answers on the lab exam, so I know I've got at least 3 right. Hopefully got a lot more than 3 right.

Life is like one big exam. You face challenges, and learn new things every day, and then some days you take exams. You face those big challenges, those big decisions, and you have to use what you've learned in the past, to make the best choices. The choices you make, decide your future. Make the choices that you desire, and your heart desires, and you'll be headed in the right direction toward your happiness and success. Make bad choices, without thinking things through; and you'll be headed for failure.

Always think things through. Try your hardest. Use what you've experienced, what you've been through, what you've learned, to help you make the right choices. Listen to what your heart and mind are telling you to do. Which one is speaking louder? Which one do you trust more? Which one is smarter?

Sometimes you need to reflect back on your past, and think about decisions you've made. You need to look at the mistakes you've made, and the successes you've had. Learn from the mistakes, and from the successes. See where you can improve, and what you're best at. Don't get discouraged by your mistakes, and failures. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. You just have to get up, brush your knees off, and keep on going. The journey is long, but it is worth it. Keep running.

Don't just cram the night before. You need to retain the information. Retain your memories, retain your knowledge. Think strong. Live strong. Be confident in the choices you make. Be confident in the life you live. Learn something new every day, and apply it to your life.

Day 66: Subconscious

“We must realize that the subconscious mind is the law of action and always expresses what the conscious mind has impressed on it. What we regularly entertain in our mind creates a conception of self. What we conceive ourselves to be, we become.” - Grace Speare

What is in your subconscious mind? What are your thoughts, memories, dreams, goals, regrets, hopes, failures; that your mind is holding on to?

Our mind is made of up 2 parts, the conscious and the subconscious. The subconscious is much greater than the conscious mind. The conscious mind you can control directly, while the subconscious mind is programmed and filled with information gradually over time from the conscious mind.

Sometimes you need to realize what is in your subconscious and sort through the information, and clean it up. Remove the negative, and organize the positive. The subconscious mind is not able to tell the difference from reality and imaginary, so be handle it with care. Your deepest feelings, dreams, views, goals, behaviors, emotions and instincts, all lie within your subconscious mind. Keep yourself in check with your subconscious mind. Know what your subconscious mind wants, and determine if that is what your true heart desire are.

Don't allow your subconscious mind to control you. Your subconscious mind is your reality check litmus paper for your desires, emotions, actions, and instincts. Your subconscious mind, is filled with things from your past. Some memories, and feelings are buried so deep, that you have nearly forgotten them, yet they are controlling your thoughts and actions.

Don't allow your past to determine your future. Who you were, is not who you have to be. Who you are today, is what is most important. Wake up each day, be positive, and be who you want to be. Take every day one step at a time. Every day, live life to the fullest. Be the person you want to be, and don't let your past failures, pitfalls, and lapses of judgement, define who you are.

Day 65: Balls

“If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.” - John Wayne

Life can really grab you by the balls sometimes.

Sometimes it gives you a swift reality check, by kicking you right in the balls. It stings, it burns, it hurts. It catches you out of nowhere. Life is going good, and you think you're making progress, and then out of no where a foot connects with your balls at full speed. It happens in a split second, you see it before it happens, but you can't stop it. Just like a car accident.

You can work as hard as you want. You can try as hard as you want. But in the end, it all comes down to reality. Reality is one of the best and worst things in this world. It can make you so high, or bury you 6 feet deep.  It helps put you in your place, and ground you, to where you belong.

Everything takes time. It is all a matter of time, hard work, and motivation. I can't give up. I can't collapse. I have to stay motivated, and keep moving forward. Face my fears. Face my insecurities. Work towards my goals, and keep focused.

I'm sick and tired of hurting. I'm sick and tired of thinking. I just want to be able to live. I want to be able to breath. I want to smile. I don't want to worry. I don't want to stress.

Breath in. Breath out. Live much. Dance in the rain. Take responsibility. Don't live with doubts. Don't live with fear. Face every day with confidence. Love like I've never been hurt before. Treat others like they deserve to be treated. Respect always. Listen. Do not jump to conclusions. Remove all judgement. Worry less. Love myself. Embrace change.

Day 64: Think

Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought. - Henri Bergson

This is something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I don't think before I act. Don't think before I speak. Don't think before I do. It leads me to making irrational decisions, and saying things in the wrong way. My behavior, actions and words, they come out very bluntly.

I've never learned to think, then act, think, then speak, think, then respond. I need to learn how to do this, it needs to be second nature. Think first, then act. Think first then speak. Think first then respond.

Instead I've always done it in reverse of act then think, speak then think, and respond then think. It leads to many angry moments, many tempers lost, and many sorry's said. So many sorry's that the word has little meaning left. Empty apologies, that no one finds sincere, that stab others right in their chest.

It's time to grow up, behave, act, and talk like an adult. To treat others with the kindness and respect that all people deserve. To stay calm, and be a rational thinking person. To live life to the fullest. To not hold grudges, and to let go of anger and resentment. To forgive myself for my past failures, and regrets. To learn new things each day. To learn from my mistakes, and always strive to be better. To think, always think, without over thinking everything.

Be considerate. Be kind. Think always. Think often. Never act without thinking first.

I could blame my ADD for my lack of thinking before I act, but in the end it's all about maturity, and accepting personal responsibility. I can't just always use my ADD as a scapegoat for my immaturity, and being irresponsible. It's not an excuse. It's not acceptable.

There comes a point where your excuses are just excuses. Excuses don't excuse anything. They're just a way to push off the blame, and to avoid responsibility.

Take responsibility, and think before I act.

Day 63: New

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” - Unknown

I need to lose my fear of new, and expand my life. I need to stop being afraid of trying new things, going new places, and meeting new people.

New is not a dirty word. It is not a scary word. It should be a comforting, happy word. Everyone should enjoy going to new places, trying new things, step out of their comfort zone and try doing things different ways.

You can't get any different results in life, when you continue to do everything the exact same ways. I can't better yourself, if I don't start doing things differently. If I  don't create a new me, I'll just continue being the same me that I've always been. I can't let my past define who I am today. I can only wake up each day, and be the best person I can, taking each day one day at a time. Work towards my goals. Focus on being better. Think before I act. Think before I speak. Stay calm. Breath in. Breath out. Relax.

I want to try new things. I want to go new places. I want to do new things. I want to do things differently. I want to be a better person. I want to be a new me. I want to let go of my regrets, and my failures. I want to focus on me, and my future. Every day is a new day, towards a new me. I want to wake up with a smile every day. I don't want to lay down at the end of the day, not being able to sleep because of how I lived that day.

Live every day, treating people with respect, honor, and integrity. Have courage. Be strong. Be calm. Be positive. Smile. Be happy. Enjoy life.

I want to live every day to the fullest. I want to live each day, knowing that I did the best that I could that day. That I faced life head on. That I lived. That I did what I needed to that day. That I was who I want to be.

Every day is a new day. Live according to my purpose, and my goals. Be who I want to be, every day, 100% of the time.

Day 62: Organization

“Organize your life around your dreams - and watch them come true.” - Unknown

I need to get my life my organized. Organize and sort my belongings. Remove the clutter. Remove the unnecessary. Remember what it is important, and place it as such in my life.

I need to organize my mind, and life; and focus on attaining my goals. Remove the stress. Keep things organized, neat, and tidy. Let things be. Be more responsible. Be an adult. Grow up.

I need to stop postponing removing the trash in my life. The thoughts. The ideas. The ignorance. I need to just remove them, and move forward head first. Face my battles on my own. Overcome my fears on my own. Overcome my insecurities, weaknesses, and frustrations on my own. I need to be proud of who I am, but recognize my faults, and my failures. I need to better myself, and continue to work harder to be who I want to be. Organize my thoughts, and my goals. Retain my focus, and keep it where it belongs, on the the future.

I need to remove the bad habits in my life, the bad behaviors, the irrational decisions and reactions. I need to create new, good habits, good behaviors, and be more rational with my decisions and reactions. I need to be a  kinder person. I need to be more considerate. I need to stop being so serious all the time. I need to learn to take a joke, and not take everything so personally. I'm too sensitive.

Organize my thoughts, my life, my mind, my goals, my achievements, my failures. Work towards my future with organization, good intentions, good actions, and focus.

Day 61: Work

“It's going to be tough, but I honestly think that if you're truly extraordinary, you're going to be OK. I'm clinging to that good feeling I get from people. Having that career momentum, the sky's the limit.” Joseph Wright

I really do not enjoy my current job. It's monotonous. It's boring. It's extremely repetitive. The management system is horrible. The company runs everything backwards. The pay sucks. But it gets me through the day, and one day at a time I'm working towards my future.

I cannot wait to start my career as a Nurse. It's still a distance off, but I am getting there slowly but surely. I also want to start a side job business of doing computer repairs, upgrades, and builds. Extra income.

 I want to explore my photography hobby, take more classes, and try to get some side work doing that as well. In January I had my first ever paying photo shoot, of my Niece for her birth announcements.

My current job, is not the best job, and it's definitely not the worst job. I need to really start looking for a better job though, of any sort, that I can work, while I continue my education. It's a catch twenty-two though, because my current job, while it doesn't pay the best, and is very dull; I have great benefits, and tuition reimbursement for my classes. Part of me thinks, I need to just stick it out here and deal with this job. I'm lucky and fortunate to have a full time job in Michigan given the current state of the economy.

Sometimes I just need to be more thankful for my job, and that while I'm not making a lot of money, I'm able to live on my own, and take care of myself.

Work harder. Continue to focus on my career, and securing better employment for my future. Don't stress about my current situation, but focus on my future.

Day 60: Studying

“Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life.” Henry L. Doherty

Study, study, study. I need to learn to study more, and more effectively.

I'm trying to attain a Nursing degree, while I'm also working full time, and enjoying life. I need to study harder, and more often. I must get good grades. Failure is not an option. I need to devote more time each week to studying for my classes. Luckily this semester I only have one class, but it is a very challenging course.

I need to dedicate at least 3 times a week to studying for my class, reviewing the material, and reading the text book. I need to review the information, and be sure I retain the knowledge, as I will need it for my future courses. I need to determine better study habits for myself, and learn what works best for me. Flash cards, reading, note taking, and reviewing.

I have to pass my class this semester. Failure is not an option. I must get good grades on the remaining exams. I must study, and prepare for them. I cannot go into them nervous, and stressed. I need to be relaxed, and know that I know the information. The instructor I have has given us the direct information, passing the class should not be difficult.

I only have one class this semester, there is no reason for me to be struggling with it. There is no reason for me to be stressed about it. I must work harder, and focus.

Study harder, and review all the information regularly.

Day 59: Heroes

“As you get older, it is harder to have heroes, but it is sort of necessary” - Ernest Hemingway

Who are your heroes? Who do you admire most in your life? Who do you respect the most? We all need to have heroes, people we look up to, people we admire. These are the people we learn the most from. The people we would want to resemble. Many of your heroes may change throughout your life, as you learn what and who you really admire. Some traits that you admire as a child, are not admirable from an adult mindset.

There are many different things we admire in others, from respect, honesty, integrity, to success, looks, and family. What ever it is that you find admirable, you find people that have those traits, and they become your heroes.

Here are my heroes.

1. My Parents - They've both always been there for me, no matter what. They have true love, and have been married for nearly 35 years. Both of them are very hard working, and have always done whatever it takes; to provide for our family. They never give up on family.
2. My grandpa W. - He served in World War II, then worked for Ford, always providing for his family. Had a great marriage for more than 60 years before he passed. Very hard working, honest man full of integrity and respect. If I could live half the life, and be half the man he was; I will die a happy man.
3. My grandpa C. - He was in the Army, and has worked at all 3 of the 'Big 3' auto companies in his life. He's worked just about every job you can think of, without ever having a high school diploma. He's successful, and owned his own company for most of my life. He's very hard working, and loves my grandmother dearly. The smile that my grandma brings to his face, is incredible. Just to see that kind of love. They've been married for more than 55 years. He has always provided for his family.
4. My grandma C - She worked for more than 30 years with Chrysler, in the recycling management. She always provided for her family; working hard, and raising a family. She's always been there for me when I needed her, and she's an incredible woman.
5. My grandma W - She's my family's Martha Stewart. She can cook amazing elaborate meals, and loves to entertain. Although it is too much work for her now. She grew up in the depression, and still today you can see how it molded her. She is very hard working, and a very sweet woman. She took care of my grandfather for about 8 years as his Alzheimer's progressed before he died. She raised her kids well.
6. My Brother - He's a dreamer. He's a great problem solver, and a very skilled in many areas. He's very relaxed person.
7. My Sister - One of the hardest working people I've ever known. She's successful, and happy. She's respectable, honest, and fun. She always has a smile on her face. She has a great marriage, and is a great mom to my niece.
8. My Brother In-Law - He's one of the people I admire most. He's respectable, honest, hard working, and a man of integrity. He has a good moral creed. He's a great father, and husband. He has goals, and he's going after them. He's a very calm person, relaxed, always smiling, and enjoys life.
9. My best friend J - A hard working honest guy, a great husband, and father.
10. KR - The best father I've ever know, and probably the hardest working person I've ever known. He's successful, and is happy. A man of real integrity, and morals. He's raised 2 incredible daughters, and been a great husband and grandfather. He stands for what he believes in.
11. MM - A great father, hard working, and successful. Raised 2 incredible daughters with his wife, and he's also a great husband. He always provides for his family, and gives great advice.

Those are my heroes. That's who I look up to, and hope to one day resemble all of them. I hope to carry on my father, and grandfathers' legacies. I want to be a man of honor, integrity, and good moral fiber. I want to be a gentleman. I want to be successful. I want to be happy.

Never forget who your heroes are, and remember why they are your heroes.