Day 79: Listen

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” - Kenneth A. Wells

To be a good conversationalist, friend, and employee; I need to be a good listener. Listen before speaking. Think before speaking. Do not interrupt. Do not jump to conclusions. Listen, then think, then speak. Shut up and listen!

I really enjoy a good conversation, but I will admit I am not a good listener. I interrupt people, I jump to conclusions, trying to predict where the sentence is going before you even complete it. It's rude, and ignorant. Even if the conversation is predictable, it's still not appropriate to interrupt them, or to tune them out.

I need to be a better listener, to others and to myself. For others, and for myself. I need to hear both what people say, and the inaudible things in life. Not everything you can hear, do you actually hear. There are verbal, and nonverbal things you can listen to. Actions speak louder than words.

I need to learn to listen closely, and response appropriately.

Even when you hear things I don't agree with, or I don't like, I can still listen; and respect what's being said. Learn to take constructive criticism to heart, without getting defensive, and attacking. No one deserves to be yelled at. There's no excuse to snap. Speak softly. Speak less, listen more.

Stop. Collaborate and listen.

Day 78: My Bucket List

1. Get a piercing. (did when I was 18, lip and ear, both still pierced)
2. Get a tattoo (did August 2007, I was 22, plan to get more though)
3. Go SkyDiving
4. Go to the Olympics (planning on London 2012)
5. Go to London. (done twice so far)
6. Go to Paris (been there once so far, want to go back)
7. Go to Italy
8. Go to all 50 states.
9. Get married.
10. Have children
11. Go to Las Vegas (went in 2009)
12. Ride in a hot air balloon.
13. Go back to college. (went back in fall of '08, been attending since).
14. Be debt free.
15. Own a house.
16. Live alone.
17. Walk on the Wall of China
18. Go to Mackinaw Island
19. Go to Joshua Tree National Park
20. Drive on Route 66
21. Celebrate New Years Eve in NYC.
22. Learn to run a mile without stopping.
23. Ice Skate in Rockefeller Plaza (2003)
24. Walk through Central Park.(2003)
25. Create a book of my photography.
26. Be thankful every day.
27. Own season tickets for the Detroit Pistons.
28. Build a computer. (2007)
29. See the sunrise from a mountain top.
30. Go to Australia
31. See the Giant Stone Heads of Easter Island.
32. Go white water rafting.
33. Go exploring in a cave.
34. Be a great son, boyfriend, husband, father and hopefully grandfather.
35. Smile everyday.
36. Laugh everyday.
37. Join a photography club.
38. Teach someone else something.
39. Impact at least 1 persons life for the good.
40. Help a complete stranger.
41. Ride horses on the beach.
42. Go on a picnic, and have crackers, cheese, fruit and wine.
43. Own a telescope
44. Worry less
45. Become closer with my family, and ensure that I have a close family of my own some day.
46. Get accepted into the nursing program at HFCC. (December 2008)
47. Become a registered nurse.
48. Learn to play the piano/keyboard again.
49. Make love on the beach under the stars.
50. Own some cool fish.
51. Weigh less than 200 lbs, and never go back over.
52. Be more punctual.
53. Fall in deep passionate unconditional endless love.
54. Don't pick stupid fights.
55. Don't sweat the small stuff.
56. Not be so loud.
57. Never go to sleep angry.
58. Don't put up with bullshit from anyone.
59. Be more assertive.
60. Live like I'm dying.
61. Go to the Kentucky Derby.
62. Scan/Digitize all of my pictures.
63. Learn to cook more.
64. Take a picture every day for a year.
65. Take my camera with me more often.
66. Be more considerate of others.
67. Go to a Michigan bowl game. (Orange Bowl, performed halftime show with BHS marching band, January 1, 2000)
68. Go to the Michigan vs OSU football game. 
69. Meet a celebrity and get a picture taken with them. (once so far....Willy Horton)
70. Go to Hawaii
71. Own a brand new car.
72. Go on a cruise.
73. Read a new book once every 2 months.
74. Become  better photographer, per-sue classes, and side work in it.
75. Make some money on the side with my IT/Computer skills.
76. Kiss in the rain.
77. Kiss under the stars.
78. Witness a miracle.
79. Own a boat.
80. Be a part of a team.


[This is a work in progress, as I come up with more, and complete more, I will edit it further]


[Those items in bold, have yet to be completed, items not bold I have done]

Day 77: God

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela

Every day I wake up and Thank God for giving me a new day. Thank him for my family, my friends, for everything that he's given me. God has made me in to who I am today, and is making me into who I am to be tomorrow. He's amazing, and gracious.

When no one else is around, when I'm feeling all alone; God is there with me. He will comfort me. I like being able to pray to him, and talk to him. It's nice knowing he is always there for me, even when I don't deserve him. He's protected me in my life, time and time again. He's giving me hope and strength, when I've had none. He's given me an amazing family, that I love dearly.

God has given me the strength to make it on my own. To be able to live alone, to survive alone financially; even when my job sucks. Even when things get tough, I still make it.

Without God, my family, and my friends; I would not be who I am today. They are my strength. They are there for me when I need them most. When I need someone to talk to, someone to help fix my car, someone to hang out with, they are there. People will always let you down at some point, but God will never let me down.

I am a child of God, and I am worthy of greatness, of happiness, of success.

Never lose your faith in God. Trust in him, and know that he is always there for you, no matter what.

Day 76: Before I Die

“Every man dies - Not every man really lives.” - William Ross Wallace

What do you want to do before you die?

That's a question I'm sure we all think about time and time again. I know I've thought about it most of my life, adding things to it, and sometimes revising previous items I had in my head of what I wanted to do. Our plans change. Our lives change.

What we want most, and what we want to achieve usually doesn't change much throughout our lives. What want to do most, what we want to achieve; this is our bucket list.

Most of us want a lot of the same things. We want happiness, love, family, and success. But then there are the little things we want to achieve. The fun places we want to go. The dumb things we want to say we experienced. The life we want to live. What is it that you want to do? What is that I want to do?

I want to feel alive. When I look back at life, I want to know that I lived, and I did the things I wanted to. I want to feel like I accomplished and achieved. I want to live every day like it's my last, and be proud of who I am.

Live before I die.

I want to live, and love. I want a family. I want a career that I enjoy. I want to travel. I want to do things, I want to see things. I want to experience life. I want to smile, laugh, and have fun.

I'm working on my bucket list. What's on your bucket list? Are you really living?

Day 75: Faith

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” - Gail Devers

In order to achieve greatness, success, or anything you want; I must have faith. I'm the only one who I can rely on to believe in myself. I have to know that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I've never failed myself on that one before. If I put my best effort in to achieving something, I will achieve it. I will earn it. I deserve it.

No one knows what I can achieve more than myself. No one believes in me like I do. No one knows who I really am inside, and how great of a person I really am. I am amazing. I am someone. I am important. I'm not cocky, or stuck up, but I do have a great sense of confidence in myself when it comes down to it. I thank God for who I am every day. I thank him for bringing me to this point in my life, and helping me achieve the things that I have; while motivating me to go further.

Sometimes I  have to let go of all doubts, and fears of failure. I have to rely on myself, and follow my heart. Don't question anything, and just do what I do. Trust in my heart 100%, and know what I want; and go for it. Never losing focus, and never giving up. All things worth having, be them great or small, are worth every bit of effort it takes to obtain them.

I can't get frustrated, I can't let myself down. There is no other option but success. I need to focus on my abilities, my talents, my skills, and reach for my dreams.

Day 74: Interruption

“Noise is the most impertinent of all forms of interruption. It is not only an interruption, but is also a disruption of thought.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

I have a horrible habit, a learned behavior that I've never corrected. It's party caused by my ADD, and partly because I've put enough effort in to correcting myself. I interrupt people. I interrupt people a lot, and often. It's extremely rude, and immature. It makes me seem arrogant, and disrespectful. It's very unintentional when I do it, but it's not excusable.

With how often I do it, it seems like I don't care what others have to say; when I really do care what they have to say. I enjoy listening to others, yet I always feel some need to interrupt there story, or what they're saying to insert my two cents. It's rude, very disrespectful, and it's not every excusable. It's a very poor way to communicate with someone.

No one wants to talk to someone that constantly interrupts them, and makes it seem like what they have to say is not valid or means nothing. It makes them feel like they're wasting they're breathe and time with you, and that what they have to say means nothing to me. I have to learn how to control this, and be a better listener, and wait my turn to say something. I can't just interrupt someone in the middle of a story. What I have to say, is no more important than what they have to say. Often it's a question, about what they're saying, or a snarky remark about what their saying. If I waited till they finished what they had to say, my questions would be answered, and I'd understand what they're trying to say.

I'm going back to the ADD doctor soon, and should start medication soon as  well. Hopefully this helps me focus, and helps me correct this behavior that I've allowed myself to do for far too long.