Day 79: Listen

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” - Kenneth A. Wells

To be a good conversationalist, friend, and employee; I need to be a good listener. Listen before speaking. Think before speaking. Do not interrupt. Do not jump to conclusions. Listen, then think, then speak. Shut up and listen!

I really enjoy a good conversation, but I will admit I am not a good listener. I interrupt people, I jump to conclusions, trying to predict where the sentence is going before you even complete it. It's rude, and ignorant. Even if the conversation is predictable, it's still not appropriate to interrupt them, or to tune them out.

I need to be a better listener, to others and to myself. For others, and for myself. I need to hear both what people say, and the inaudible things in life. Not everything you can hear, do you actually hear. There are verbal, and nonverbal things you can listen to. Actions speak louder than words.

I need to learn to listen closely, and response appropriately.

Even when you hear things I don't agree with, or I don't like, I can still listen; and respect what's being said. Learn to take constructive criticism to heart, without getting defensive, and attacking. No one deserves to be yelled at. There's no excuse to snap. Speak softly. Speak less, listen more.

Stop. Collaborate and listen.

Day 78: My Bucket List

1. Get a piercing. (did when I was 18, lip and ear, both still pierced)
2. Get a tattoo (did August 2007, I was 22, plan to get more though)
3. Go SkyDiving
4. Go to the Olympics (planning on London 2012)
5. Go to London. (done twice so far)
6. Go to Paris (been there once so far, want to go back)
7. Go to Italy
8. Go to all 50 states.
9. Get married.
10. Have children
11. Go to Las Vegas (went in 2009)
12. Ride in a hot air balloon.
13. Go back to college. (went back in fall of '08, been attending since).
14. Be debt free.
15. Own a house.
16. Live alone.
17. Walk on the Wall of China
18. Go to Mackinaw Island
19. Go to Joshua Tree National Park
20. Drive on Route 66
21. Celebrate New Years Eve in NYC.
22. Learn to run a mile without stopping.
23. Ice Skate in Rockefeller Plaza (2003)
24. Walk through Central Park.(2003)
25. Create a book of my photography.
26. Be thankful every day.
27. Own season tickets for the Detroit Pistons.
28. Build a computer. (2007)
29. See the sunrise from a mountain top.
30. Go to Australia
31. See the Giant Stone Heads of Easter Island.
32. Go white water rafting.
33. Go exploring in a cave.
34. Be a great son, boyfriend, husband, father and hopefully grandfather.
35. Smile everyday.
36. Laugh everyday.
37. Join a photography club.
38. Teach someone else something.
39. Impact at least 1 persons life for the good.
40. Help a complete stranger.
41. Ride horses on the beach.
42. Go on a picnic, and have crackers, cheese, fruit and wine.
43. Own a telescope
44. Worry less
45. Become closer with my family, and ensure that I have a close family of my own some day.
46. Get accepted into the nursing program at HFCC. (December 2008)
47. Become a registered nurse.
48. Learn to play the piano/keyboard again.
49. Make love on the beach under the stars.
50. Own some cool fish.
51. Weigh less than 200 lbs, and never go back over.
52. Be more punctual.
53. Fall in deep passionate unconditional endless love.
54. Don't pick stupid fights.
55. Don't sweat the small stuff.
56. Not be so loud.
57. Never go to sleep angry.
58. Don't put up with bullshit from anyone.
59. Be more assertive.
60. Live like I'm dying.
61. Go to the Kentucky Derby.
62. Scan/Digitize all of my pictures.
63. Learn to cook more.
64. Take a picture every day for a year.
65. Take my camera with me more often.
66. Be more considerate of others.
67. Go to a Michigan bowl game. (Orange Bowl, performed halftime show with BHS marching band, January 1, 2000)
68. Go to the Michigan vs OSU football game. 
69. Meet a celebrity and get a picture taken with them. (once so far....Willy Horton)
70. Go to Hawaii
71. Own a brand new car.
72. Go on a cruise.
73. Read a new book once every 2 months.
74. Become  better photographer, per-sue classes, and side work in it.
75. Make some money on the side with my IT/Computer skills.
76. Kiss in the rain.
77. Kiss under the stars.
78. Witness a miracle.
79. Own a boat.
80. Be a part of a team.


[This is a work in progress, as I come up with more, and complete more, I will edit it further]


[Those items in bold, have yet to be completed, items not bold I have done]

Day 76: Before I Die

“Every man dies - Not every man really lives.” - William Ross Wallace

What do you want to do before you die?

That's a question I'm sure we all think about time and time again. I know I've thought about it most of my life, adding things to it, and sometimes revising previous items I had in my head of what I wanted to do. Our plans change. Our lives change.

What we want most, and what we want to achieve usually doesn't change much throughout our lives. What want to do most, what we want to achieve; this is our bucket list.

Most of us want a lot of the same things. We want happiness, love, family, and success. But then there are the little things we want to achieve. The fun places we want to go. The dumb things we want to say we experienced. The life we want to live. What is it that you want to do? What is that I want to do?

I want to feel alive. When I look back at life, I want to know that I lived, and I did the things I wanted to. I want to feel like I accomplished and achieved. I want to live every day like it's my last, and be proud of who I am.

Live before I die.

I want to live, and love. I want a family. I want a career that I enjoy. I want to travel. I want to do things, I want to see things. I want to experience life. I want to smile, laugh, and have fun.

I'm working on my bucket list. What's on your bucket list? Are you really living?

Day 73: Positivity

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours” - Swedish Proverb

Live a positive life. Think positively. Remove the negative thoughts and the negativity in life.

I want to succeed, and be successful in all that I do, I need to be more optimistic, and hopeful about life and my future. I have to live life, and take risks. Without taking risks, you never know what you can gain and achieve. Life is amazing when you live it, and let life be.

I need to smile more, and think more positively. Stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen, and the possibility of failure. Planning for the possibility of failure, is setting yourself up to accept failure. Failure in life is not an option, at any time, at any moment, for anything. Failure is miserable, and it has no

Wake up and smile, breath in, relax, enjoy life. Go for a walk, go to the gym. Love life, and let life be. Life is too damn short to be miserable. Time just flies by, and the only guaranteed is the moment we're living in right now. Enjoy every moment, live life to the fullest.

Positive people, attract more positive people. Like attracts like. Negativity just breeds more negativity. No one wants to be around negative people. People love to be around positive people.

Day 72: Job

“The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week” - Robert Frost

I need to start looking for a new job, and really actually looking. Apply for jobs, get some interviews, try.

I got frustrated after the last couple job interviews I went through more than a year ago, and decided to stick with the company I'm currently with, even though it's not a good job. I'm not making enough money, and the job is not worth it. Driving a half hour to work, for a job that doesn't pay much, really isn't worth it.

I've stuck with it because it is full time work, and I have to be thankful that I'm employed in this economy. I have benefits, and they offer tuition reimbursement which has helped me with my pre-Nursing classes. But in the end, I need to work to better my career opportunities. There are not many opportunities in my company for advancement, and with the economic state of the company, there is not much job security.

I need more money, and a job that will give me more opportunities for advancement, and a future. I'd prefer a job that is not open 24 hours a day, at least until I'm a Nurse. I should look in to getting a job at a hospital, something that could help me with my future career.

While I know I'm not going to be a Nurse for at least a couple years, I need to continue to work, and better my career opportunities.

Get an interview.

Day 70: Confidence

“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”

I know who I am.

I need to have more pride and confidence in myself. Confidence is attractive.

I am a pretty awesome person. I am fun to be around. I'm kind, giving, and considerate. Those that I care about, I'm always here for, no matter what. Treat me with respect, and I'll treat you with respect. I am a handsome guy, and I have a baby face.

I'm not perfect, and I have made my fair share of mistakes, some of them repeatedly. In the end I learned, and grew from my mistakes. It's all you can do. You fix what you can, leave the things be that you can't, and learn from all of it. Life is a roller coaster. You have to hold on tight, and prepare yourself for the next drop.

I know who I am, and I know what I want in life. I know I am a good person. I know that I am not perfect. I know I will make mistakes in the future. I know I have good morals, and good judgement. I know I will be a great boyfriend, husband, and father some day. I know I am going to be a great Nurse some day. I can't wait for that.

I know I am a great son, brother, and friend to those in my life.

I have no regrets in this life. I've lived, and learned. The things I've done and said and done in the past, do not represent who I am. They are a part of who I am. Every day is a learning experience, preparing me for tomorrow. I live each day to the best of my ability, the way that I want to live it, with no regrets.

I am who I am, and that's all I can be. Like me, love me, or hate me. I'm real. I'm genuine. I am me, that's all I'll ever be. I'm a sinner, I'm not a saint. Don't judge me. I am only me, and that's who I want to be.

Live life, and love it.

Day 69: No Tomorrow

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Live every day as if there is no tomorrow. Don't worry so much about the future, and stress about the unknowns. Live every day as if it were your last. If you died tonight in your sleep, would you die happy, knowing you lived your last day as your best day?

You can only plan, and work so much for tomorrow; but in the end it is the unknown. You can't predict everything that is going to happen. We don't know what the future holds for any of us. You can only live each day, one day at a time, and make today what you want it to be. Make the right choices, the right decisions, and be happy with who you are today.

Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present. As cheesey and cliche as that line is, it is the truth. We need to be thankful for today, and hopeful for tomorrow. There is no promise of tomorrow. We're lucky to have today, and we're lucky we had yesterday and the days before that.

Take what you've learned from yesterday, your mistakes, failures, achievements and successes. Apply them to your life today, and make today even better than yesterday.

Only you have the power to change your life. Only you can decide how you're going to live. You have to make the choice on your own.

I have to make these choices on my own. To be a better person, to live each day as if it were my last. To not regret my past, but be thankful for it. The past made me who I am today. Without it, I wouldn't be me. I've made a lot of mistakes, done a lot of shameful things, but in the end I'm only me. The past can't define who I am today, or who I am in the future. The past is only a part of the story. I'm writing the story, I can change it at any time. I am in control of my future.

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul

Day 67: Exams

“Why Study For Exams.... Are they not about what you know, not about how much you can cram into your head the night before?”

Took 2 exams tonight. Got an 80% on the first one, and not sure how I did on the 2nd one. Second one was a lab exam, with only 25 questions. Professor gave us 3 of the answers on the lab exam, so I know I've got at least 3 right. Hopefully got a lot more than 3 right.

Life is like one big exam. You face challenges, and learn new things every day, and then some days you take exams. You face those big challenges, those big decisions, and you have to use what you've learned in the past, to make the best choices. The choices you make, decide your future. Make the choices that you desire, and your heart desires, and you'll be headed in the right direction toward your happiness and success. Make bad choices, without thinking things through; and you'll be headed for failure.

Always think things through. Try your hardest. Use what you've experienced, what you've been through, what you've learned, to help you make the right choices. Listen to what your heart and mind are telling you to do. Which one is speaking louder? Which one do you trust more? Which one is smarter?

Sometimes you need to reflect back on your past, and think about decisions you've made. You need to look at the mistakes you've made, and the successes you've had. Learn from the mistakes, and from the successes. See where you can improve, and what you're best at. Don't get discouraged by your mistakes, and failures. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. You just have to get up, brush your knees off, and keep on going. The journey is long, but it is worth it. Keep running.

Don't just cram the night before. You need to retain the information. Retain your memories, retain your knowledge. Think strong. Live strong. Be confident in the choices you make. Be confident in the life you live. Learn something new every day, and apply it to your life.

Day 65: Balls

“If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.” - John Wayne

Life can really grab you by the balls sometimes.

Sometimes it gives you a swift reality check, by kicking you right in the balls. It stings, it burns, it hurts. It catches you out of nowhere. Life is going good, and you think you're making progress, and then out of no where a foot connects with your balls at full speed. It happens in a split second, you see it before it happens, but you can't stop it. Just like a car accident.

You can work as hard as you want. You can try as hard as you want. But in the end, it all comes down to reality. Reality is one of the best and worst things in this world. It can make you so high, or bury you 6 feet deep.  It helps put you in your place, and ground you, to where you belong.

Everything takes time. It is all a matter of time, hard work, and motivation. I can't give up. I can't collapse. I have to stay motivated, and keep moving forward. Face my fears. Face my insecurities. Work towards my goals, and keep focused.

I'm sick and tired of hurting. I'm sick and tired of thinking. I just want to be able to live. I want to be able to breath. I want to smile. I don't want to worry. I don't want to stress.

Breath in. Breath out. Live much. Dance in the rain. Take responsibility. Don't live with doubts. Don't live with fear. Face every day with confidence. Love like I've never been hurt before. Treat others like they deserve to be treated. Respect always. Listen. Do not jump to conclusions. Remove all judgement. Worry less. Love myself. Embrace change.

Day 64: Think

Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought. - Henri Bergson

This is something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I don't think before I act. Don't think before I speak. Don't think before I do. It leads me to making irrational decisions, and saying things in the wrong way. My behavior, actions and words, they come out very bluntly.

I've never learned to think, then act, think, then speak, think, then respond. I need to learn how to do this, it needs to be second nature. Think first, then act. Think first then speak. Think first then respond.

Instead I've always done it in reverse of act then think, speak then think, and respond then think. It leads to many angry moments, many tempers lost, and many sorry's said. So many sorry's that the word has little meaning left. Empty apologies, that no one finds sincere, that stab others right in their chest.

It's time to grow up, behave, act, and talk like an adult. To treat others with the kindness and respect that all people deserve. To stay calm, and be a rational thinking person. To live life to the fullest. To not hold grudges, and to let go of anger and resentment. To forgive myself for my past failures, and regrets. To learn new things each day. To learn from my mistakes, and always strive to be better. To think, always think, without over thinking everything.

Be considerate. Be kind. Think always. Think often. Never act without thinking first.

I could blame my ADD for my lack of thinking before I act, but in the end it's all about maturity, and accepting personal responsibility. I can't just always use my ADD as a scapegoat for my immaturity, and being irresponsible. It's not an excuse. It's not acceptable.

There comes a point where your excuses are just excuses. Excuses don't excuse anything. They're just a way to push off the blame, and to avoid responsibility.

Take responsibility, and think before I act.

Day 62: Organization

“Organize your life around your dreams - and watch them come true.” - Unknown

I need to get my life my organized. Organize and sort my belongings. Remove the clutter. Remove the unnecessary. Remember what it is important, and place it as such in my life.

I need to organize my mind, and life; and focus on attaining my goals. Remove the stress. Keep things organized, neat, and tidy. Let things be. Be more responsible. Be an adult. Grow up.

I need to stop postponing removing the trash in my life. The thoughts. The ideas. The ignorance. I need to just remove them, and move forward head first. Face my battles on my own. Overcome my fears on my own. Overcome my insecurities, weaknesses, and frustrations on my own. I need to be proud of who I am, but recognize my faults, and my failures. I need to better myself, and continue to work harder to be who I want to be. Organize my thoughts, and my goals. Retain my focus, and keep it where it belongs, on the the future.

I need to remove the bad habits in my life, the bad behaviors, the irrational decisions and reactions. I need to create new, good habits, good behaviors, and be more rational with my decisions and reactions. I need to be a  kinder person. I need to be more considerate. I need to stop being so serious all the time. I need to learn to take a joke, and not take everything so personally. I'm too sensitive.

Organize my thoughts, my life, my mind, my goals, my achievements, my failures. Work towards my future with organization, good intentions, good actions, and focus.

Day 61: Work

“It's going to be tough, but I honestly think that if you're truly extraordinary, you're going to be OK. I'm clinging to that good feeling I get from people. Having that career momentum, the sky's the limit.” Joseph Wright

I really do not enjoy my current job. It's monotonous. It's boring. It's extremely repetitive. The management system is horrible. The company runs everything backwards. The pay sucks. But it gets me through the day, and one day at a time I'm working towards my future.

I cannot wait to start my career as a Nurse. It's still a distance off, but I am getting there slowly but surely. I also want to start a side job business of doing computer repairs, upgrades, and builds. Extra income.

 I want to explore my photography hobby, take more classes, and try to get some side work doing that as well. In January I had my first ever paying photo shoot, of my Niece for her birth announcements.

My current job, is not the best job, and it's definitely not the worst job. I need to really start looking for a better job though, of any sort, that I can work, while I continue my education. It's a catch twenty-two though, because my current job, while it doesn't pay the best, and is very dull; I have great benefits, and tuition reimbursement for my classes. Part of me thinks, I need to just stick it out here and deal with this job. I'm lucky and fortunate to have a full time job in Michigan given the current state of the economy.

Sometimes I just need to be more thankful for my job, and that while I'm not making a lot of money, I'm able to live on my own, and take care of myself.

Work harder. Continue to focus on my career, and securing better employment for my future. Don't stress about my current situation, but focus on my future.

Day 60: Studying

“Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life.” Henry L. Doherty

Study, study, study. I need to learn to study more, and more effectively.

I'm trying to attain a Nursing degree, while I'm also working full time, and enjoying life. I need to study harder, and more often. I must get good grades. Failure is not an option. I need to devote more time each week to studying for my classes. Luckily this semester I only have one class, but it is a very challenging course.

I need to dedicate at least 3 times a week to studying for my class, reviewing the material, and reading the text book. I need to review the information, and be sure I retain the knowledge, as I will need it for my future courses. I need to determine better study habits for myself, and learn what works best for me. Flash cards, reading, note taking, and reviewing.

I have to pass my class this semester. Failure is not an option. I must get good grades on the remaining exams. I must study, and prepare for them. I cannot go into them nervous, and stressed. I need to be relaxed, and know that I know the information. The instructor I have has given us the direct information, passing the class should not be difficult.

I only have one class this semester, there is no reason for me to be struggling with it. There is no reason for me to be stressed about it. I must work harder, and focus.

Study harder, and review all the information regularly.

Day 55: Relaxing

“Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.” - Ashleigh Brilliant

Life isn't easy. Everything doesn't always go the way you plan, and that's good and bad. It's life. It's how everything is meant to be.

Sometimes you just have to sit back, and relax, and let life be. That's what weekends are for, to enjoy, breathe in, and relax. Enjoy life. Enjoy your day. Enjoy doing absolutely nothing.

What if you could have a relax button in your life? You're under stress, you hate your job, you're frustrated with everything around you; and you just want to crumble and break. Push the relax button, and make it all go away.

Sit back, and get a new perspective on things. Take everything a little less seriously. Life is too short to be serious all the time. Life is too short to have regrets. Life is too short to be stressed out. Change what you can, and accept what you can't. Understand that things you can change, usually take work, and aren't going to change over night. You have to wait things out, and sometimes you just have to smile and fight your way through it.

If it was easy would it really be worth it?

I need to take more time to relax and destress my life. Stop worry about the things I can't change right now, and know things in the future will be better. Change what I can change. Focus on my goals, and don't let stress and doubts prevent me from achieving them.

Failure is not an option. Stress is a choice. Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out. Smile. Repeat.

Day 54: Reading

“Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting” - Aldous Huxley

I love to read good books, although it is a challenge to find those good books sometimes. Reading is great exercise for the mind, and you can learn so much from reading. It's like taking a mental vacation, escaping in to the book. I need to read more.

I want to find more good books, and read more often for pleasure. Reading for work and school, is often a challenge, and boring; but it has to be done. I need to learn to enjoy reading again. As a kid I couldn't put down books after I learned how to read, before I even started school.

I really enjoy biographies, and true story books, as well as books that have real meaning; something to learn in them.

My brother in-law recently gave me a book to read titled Maximized Manhood. It's a really good book. He has 2 more books for me to read when I finish this one. I'm almost done with it.

Found another book at Border's that I want to read titled The Art of Communication.

I want to read at least one book a month.

Day 53: Everything

“I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.” -Sophia Loren

Everything around me is still a memory. Every song I hear, everywhere I go, it's a memory of some sort, that brings her back to me. It's hard. I still miss her. I miss talking to her. I miss seeing her. Tears still come to my eyes.

Memories are all that we have of the past. The good and the bad. Our minds tend to block out the bad, and keep the good.

I'll never forget her. I still don't know what the future holds for her, and I. Maybe at some point we'll cross paths again, and be able to at least be friends. I know right now we both need to heal in order to be friends. Our hearts are hurting. We're aching with pain. I still think about her frequently, wonder how her day is going. Wonder if she thinks of me. If she misses me.

Other parts of me are in pain still. I hate how I treated her, when it was obvious she was unhappy. I hate how she treated me. After I realized she was unhappy, I then got unhappy. Our relationship fell apart, our communication with each other was horrible. It was as if both of us forgot how to talk to each other, and all we knew how to do was snap anytime either of us said anything. I hate that I made her feel like she had to 'babysit' me, when we were around her family, and friends. I was an embarrassment to her, a nuisance. I hate that she gave up, and walked away. I'm hurt.

I hate that it took her, for me to realize who I really am, and the things I need to change. When she first broke up with me, I couldn't help but blame her, but in reality we were both to blame. I needed to accept my faults, and realize where things went wrong. I am thankful now that she did break up with me. If she hadn't ever broken up with me, I'd never have realized the things that I have. I wouldn't have ever started working on me. I wouldn't have ever changed. She was an enabler, her being with me, made me think I was okay, even though I knew all along I wasn't.

I am proud of her, that she was strong enough to walk away; when it would have been easier to just stay. She did what she felt was best for her, regardless of everyone else around her. I can't blame her for that. I can't blame her for wanting to be happy. That's what we all want, happiness.

One day at a time I am reaching my goals, and finding happiness within me.

Day 51: Regrets

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” - Fulton Oursler

Often in life I've said I've regretted things I have done, said, and things I haven't done. It's time to live without regrets. Life happens. Things happen. Lessons happen. You live you learn, you grow. You can't just bottle up your life and hold it inside regretting every mistake, and failure you've made. Make the things right that you can, learn from everything, and work towards your future. That's all you can do.

Mistakes are only mistakes if you learn from them, and change how you react to the situations in the future. It's not a mistake if you'll continuously repeat it over and over again. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different outcome. If you continue to do what you've been doing all along, how do you ever expect anything to change?

You have to do things differently to get a different outcome. You have to learn from your mistakes. You have to behave differently. A mistake that's continuously repeated, is not a mistake, it's a natural behavior. That's where my problem lies. Many of my actions, are not mistakes, as I've repeated them so many times in my life; that they're second nature, natural behaviors.

I can't ever regret anything, as everything I've done, is what I wanted to do at the moment. Be it good or bad, it's obviously what I wanted at the moment. Living in the moment will often bite you in the ass. You have to keep focused on your ultimate goals, and not sacrifice anything to reach them. Every mistake, failure, and mis-step that I have made, was made for a reason. They were made by the choices I make, and my own behavior. Be it right or wrong. I am who I am. It's time to better myself, for me, now.

Day 50: Discretion

Discretion -
1 : the quality of being discreet : circumspection; especially : cautious reserve in speech
2 : ability to make responsible decisions
3 a : individual choice or judgment b : power of free decision or latitude of choice within certain legal bounds
4 : the result of separating or distinguishing


Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable. - Jean de La Fontaine


Discretion. What an important word, that can be applied to life in so many ways. Words are so important. I need to expand my vocabulary, and communication skills. We all should practice more discretion in our lives. Today with the internet, and social networking communities, we often lose our discretion, and put our lives out there too much. Not everyone needs to know every last little detail of your life.

Discretion also applies to your conversations, and your behaviors. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I need to practice filtering what I say more often, thinking about what I'm saying before I say it. I need to behave this way as well, thinking about what I'm doing before I'm doing it. Have some discretion, some self control. Make responsible, mature decisions. I'm an adult, I need to talk like one, and behave like one, at all times.

No one wants to be around someone who has no discretion over what he says or does. It's annoying, immature, and child like. Irresponsible. Everyone doesn't want to hear every little problem I have, or every emotion I'm feeling. They don't want to know everything about me. They don't need to know everything about me. At least I had discretion enough to only share this blog with a select few people that I actually know.

Every day is a new day, with a small step forward. One step at a time I'm getting to where I want to be.

Day 49: Cooking

When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.  -Laiko Bahrs

I want to learn to cook more. I've cooked in two restaurants, and I really enjoyed it. Cooking is a lot of fun. I love to cook for others, and I want to expand my cooking and baking skills.

Cooking food, is healthier, and cheaper than going out to eat constantly, or eating ready prepared foods. I want to eat healthier, and cook more often. Cooking for one doesn't have to mean TV Dinners, or something out of can. I should be able to cook a healthy meal for myself, and enjoy it.

Cooking is a great skill to have, and it is fun. It will expand my regular diet, and will help me not just eat the same things over and over again. I really enjoy cooking for others, having family and friends over and cooking dinner. I should do that more often.

My family was supposed to come over this weekend, but we're planning it for next weekend. I'm excited for that. Not sure what I should cook for them yet. Last time I cooked spaghetti, and a fresh salad. Was really good. That was a long time ago though. Could cook that again, since it is simple, and I know how to do it. Or I could expand my skills and try something new. I'll have to see what everyone else feels like having.

I've stopped eating fast food, and am doing good at that. When I've gone to lunch at work, I've tried to go with healthier choices like Subway, and Quiznos subs, rather than Taco Bell and McDonalds constantly. It really makes you feel a lot better eating healthier. I need to get back in the gym this week as well and work out.

This week, cook something new, and get in the gym.

Day 48: Laughter

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.  - Josh Billings

Laugh often. Have fun. Always smile.

Laughter is the best medicine. It's such a stress reliever, and very relaxing. Had a lot of fun this weekend, after having a very long work week. Worked 10 days in a row, and it seemed like it was never going to end. Finally the weekend arrived.

Don't let a day go by without laughing. Life is too short to be serious all the time. Sometimes you have to have fun, kick back, and laugh. I love the feelings of laughing. I love when I laugh so hard my stomach hurts, and I can't breath, even if it is slightly painful.

It's amazing how quickly you can laugh, and forget everything else. Stress just disappears. A smile comes to your face. I laugh really easily about the silliest things which helps a lot. I love to laugh. I can't count how many times I've laughed so hard I've spit my drink out, often embarrassing, but entirely hilarious.

Sometimes the best thing you can do in a difficult situation, is to just laugh it off and move on. Let it be. You can't control everything, you can't fix everything. Just let it go, and laugh it off. Laugh off the excessive seriousness. Laugh off the stress. Laugh off your depression. Laugh off your tears.

Live, love and laugh.