Day 79: Listen

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” - Kenneth A. Wells

To be a good conversationalist, friend, and employee; I need to be a good listener. Listen before speaking. Think before speaking. Do not interrupt. Do not jump to conclusions. Listen, then think, then speak. Shut up and listen!

I really enjoy a good conversation, but I will admit I am not a good listener. I interrupt people, I jump to conclusions, trying to predict where the sentence is going before you even complete it. It's rude, and ignorant. Even if the conversation is predictable, it's still not appropriate to interrupt them, or to tune them out.

I need to be a better listener, to others and to myself. For others, and for myself. I need to hear both what people say, and the inaudible things in life. Not everything you can hear, do you actually hear. There are verbal, and nonverbal things you can listen to. Actions speak louder than words.

I need to learn to listen closely, and response appropriately.

Even when you hear things I don't agree with, or I don't like, I can still listen; and respect what's being said. Learn to take constructive criticism to heart, without getting defensive, and attacking. No one deserves to be yelled at. There's no excuse to snap. Speak softly. Speak less, listen more.

Stop. Collaborate and listen.

Day 77: God

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela

Every day I wake up and Thank God for giving me a new day. Thank him for my family, my friends, for everything that he's given me. God has made me in to who I am today, and is making me into who I am to be tomorrow. He's amazing, and gracious.

When no one else is around, when I'm feeling all alone; God is there with me. He will comfort me. I like being able to pray to him, and talk to him. It's nice knowing he is always there for me, even when I don't deserve him. He's protected me in my life, time and time again. He's giving me hope and strength, when I've had none. He's given me an amazing family, that I love dearly.

God has given me the strength to make it on my own. To be able to live alone, to survive alone financially; even when my job sucks. Even when things get tough, I still make it.

Without God, my family, and my friends; I would not be who I am today. They are my strength. They are there for me when I need them most. When I need someone to talk to, someone to help fix my car, someone to hang out with, they are there. People will always let you down at some point, but God will never let me down.

I am a child of God, and I am worthy of greatness, of happiness, of success.

Never lose your faith in God. Trust in him, and know that he is always there for you, no matter what.

Day 50: Discretion

Discretion -
1 : the quality of being discreet : circumspection; especially : cautious reserve in speech
2 : ability to make responsible decisions
3 a : individual choice or judgment b : power of free decision or latitude of choice within certain legal bounds
4 : the result of separating or distinguishing


Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable. - Jean de La Fontaine


Discretion. What an important word, that can be applied to life in so many ways. Words are so important. I need to expand my vocabulary, and communication skills. We all should practice more discretion in our lives. Today with the internet, and social networking communities, we often lose our discretion, and put our lives out there too much. Not everyone needs to know every last little detail of your life.

Discretion also applies to your conversations, and your behaviors. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I need to practice filtering what I say more often, thinking about what I'm saying before I say it. I need to behave this way as well, thinking about what I'm doing before I'm doing it. Have some discretion, some self control. Make responsible, mature decisions. I'm an adult, I need to talk like one, and behave like one, at all times.

No one wants to be around someone who has no discretion over what he says or does. It's annoying, immature, and child like. Irresponsible. Everyone doesn't want to hear every little problem I have, or every emotion I'm feeling. They don't want to know everything about me. They don't need to know everything about me. At least I had discretion enough to only share this blog with a select few people that I actually know.

Every day is a new day, with a small step forward. One step at a time I'm getting to where I want to be.

Day 41: Forgiveness

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” - Sara Paddison

Forgiveness, is never easy, but always necessary. The hardest person to forgive is yourself. Everyone disappoints them self, and lets them self down at one point or another, but you must learn to forgive yourself, and continue to move forward. You must also learn to forgive others. Be quick to forgive, but not to forget.

If you cant forgive, you're only holding your own self captive. The anger, resentment, frustration, and hate will only build up in you, making you bitter; and a prisoner in your own soul. Be strong, be the better person, and forgive, and let it go. Learn from your own mistakes and failures, as well as others. Forgive. Do not forget, but always forgive.

Feelings of anger, frustration and hate are normal. People will disappoint you time and time again. You will disappoint yourself time and time again. You will fail. You must continue forward. You cannot stay angry at yourself or others. It's a waste of time and energy to not forgive. It is not easy to forgive, but it's something you must do if you want to be happy. Don't let others bring you down. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and let it go.

I've always struggled with forgiveness. I hold grudges, I bring the past up, I say things are okay, when really inside they're not okay. I need to work on my forgiveness. There are many things I still haven't forgiven myself for, and people in my life I haven't forgiven either. Carrying anger, frustration, and bitterness with me everywhere I go. Not forgiving does not help you, it doesn't make you stronger, it doesn't make you smarter. It makes you ignorant, and shows your weakness.

Forgive but do not forget.

Day 40: Smile

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.  - W.C. Fields

Every day remember to smile. It's easier to smile than it is to frown, and it feels a whole lot better.

Happiness starts with a smile, and it's contagious to those around you. Laugh. Smile. Repeat. Everyday.

Appreciate the little things in life. Wake up and smile, and be thankful, and happy for everything that you have. Be thankful for those around you. Make them smile with you. Make them laugh.

Don't let a day pass without smiling. Life is far too short to not smile. Enjoy life. Do something every day that makes you smile. Do something everyday that challenges you. Laugh every day.

Forget your frustrations, your stresses and all the other nonsense; just smile. It'll make your day a lot brighter. I need to remember this, every day. Let life be, enjoy life. Smile. Life is happening, whether you want it to or not. You can't stop it. Don't try to. Just enjoy it. Cherish the moments you have. Smile and laugh often. Cry and frown only when appropriate. Don't dwell on your sorrows. Remember the most important thing in life, is to be happy. A smile is the quickest way to get there. Share a smile with someone every day. Make someone laugh.

Day 33: Mind

Mind over Matter.

Everything in life comes down to Mind over Matter. Your mind, controls what you do, and what you don't do. You can control your own behavior.
It's all just a matter of self control, and focus. Mind over matter.

You can't blame your actions on anything or anyone else. You're responsible for your own actions, and only yours.

Take control of your mind, take control of your life.

I must focus my mind over matter. I need to stop blaming outside things, and those around me. Personal responsibility is important. If you truly respect and trust yourself, you'll hold yourself accountable.

In order to be a good mate, you need to be self responsible, accountable, and trust worthy.

Trust in yourself, and hold yourself accountable.

Day 31: Apologies

True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive. - Mignon McLaughlin

This is a lesson for life.

Apologies, they must not be taken lightly. This is serious business. When you apologize to someone, it must be sincere. To be sincere, you must mean it. You cannot just say sorry, because someone is mad, or the consequences of your actions. You must truly feel remorseful for whatever you did, or said; and truly intend to not repeat said action.

This is something, I have never been good at. I apologize often, and I do mean it when I apologize, and am sincere; but I often then repeat whatever said action was. That then cancels out the apology in my eyes, and makes it meaningless. At that point, it becomes too late to apologize. You can't repeat an apology. An apology is an all or nothing moment. You either mean it or you don't. If you mean it, you have to show it. Actions speak louder than words.

When you apologize, and then your re-nig on it, you're only making yourself look like a liar. I am not a liar. You make your apologies empty, meaningless words, that no one should accept. Make your apologies worthy of being accepted. Make them real. Make them sincere, from your heart to theirs.

Lesson for life....make apologies real, in your heart, in your actions, in your words.