Day 4: ADHD

Today, I went to the ADHD Clinic for the first time. The Dr. had me complete an evaluation questionnaire, that I scored very high on. Based on the evaluation it's pretty clear to the Dr. that I do suffer from ADHD. I have to have a blood test done, and an EKG, then we will discuss medication options. He's recommending Vyvanse, or Adderall XR.

25 and being treated for ADHD for the first time. It's something I've known I've had, since I was probably 12. When I started going to public schools, and met other kids with it. In the private schools I attended, teachers weren't taught to look for signs of it. I believe it was due to it being a Christian school. They probably thought I was just out of control, and lacked parenting; neither of which are true. ADHD is due to a chemical in-balance. I should have looked in to treatment long ago.

I tried to ignore it for a long time. I thought I could over come it with mind-power, and will power. I don't think anyone that truly has ADHD can overcome it with will power. It just doesn't work like that. It's a lot more serious than it seems.

While I can't blame ADHD on every problem in my life, or anything really. I can say that it's been a factor of my life. I've made many bad decisions in my life, and ADHD was an influence on them. I often make impulsive decisions, not looking at the big picture. Momentary lapses of judgement. Choices that I chose to make, and ADHD was the little devil on my shoulder the whole ride. ADHD just assisted me, it was me who lived the life, and made the critical mistakes time and time again.

I wish I would have realized how serious of a problem ADHD was many years ago. I believe I could have made better decisions if I'd taken care of it long ago. Maybe I would have graduated from Eastern, maybe I'd still be in the Navy? Maybe I'd have more motivation, and more focus. Maybe I wouldn't have done anything differently, but would have had better focus when I made all those dumb decisions.