The laws of attraction are simple. Even a child can understand them. Positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative. While we all know this is true, why is it so hard for us to actually do?
Her and I, while we were together went through phases of both positivity and negativity. A roller coaster of emotions. When we first met, I was positive, and she was positive, which encouraged more positivity. We fed off of each others energy.
Then at some points we got stressed out with life, our relationships, our jobs, our finances, and things got negative. We both fed off of each others negativity, which led to a lot of anger and resentment. We became selfish, and began putting ourselves before the relationship. Our friendship suffered, our relationship suffered. We should have been a team, and supporting each other through our hard days, but instead we made them worse for each other. We both couldn't stop thinking about our own problems, or even begin to try to imagine how the other person was feeling. We were selfish, and unkind.
Our positivity is a big part of what brought us together, and bonded us in the begining. We both were happy, and excited for life. We both had plans for our life, and things were going well in our lives. We were excited to have someone to share it with, and we fell in love with each other. At the begining, we both had a lot more money, and we're able to go and do a lot more things. Then money got tight, and our lives got busier, with work, school, families, and life.
Fights happened. We both lost our heads sometimes. Talking our problems out was not our strong point, and something we both need to work at. In a relationship you need to be able to tell each other how you're feeling, without fear of a fight. Problems and feelings should be able to be discussed, openly and honestly.
We both didn't treat each other how we should have, and we are both to blame. She'd say something mean, I'd say something mean back. She'd ask for something in a rude way, I'd give her a rude excuse. She'd ask for a massage, I'd tell her no.
We let the stress of our lives get to us, and brought it in to our relationships. We were both going through a very stressful point in our lives, and we should have helped each other get through it as a team. We should have supported each other. Instead we fought each other, and made it even harder.
I know that if we were given another chance, if she will give us one, that we could make things work. I know that what we had was real, and amazing. I know that this love is tangible. We both need to work on ourselves, and learn how to support each other in a relationship. We need to learn to be a team, and to lose our selfish atitudes. Counseling could have helped, but she refused.
I'm not blaming her for us not being together. I know I am just as much to blame, if not more. I know my anger is the biggest source of the problem. She fed off of my anger, which then made her angry. If my anger hadn't been there, I'm sure her anger wouldn't have been there. If I had always put her first, I'm sure she would have put me first. We both need to mature, and grow up. Stress, and life happen, and we both must learn to get through them, together, as a team, and not bring others down with us. We must learn to support each other completely. We must learn to trust each other completely with our hearts, and know that they want what is best for us as well.
Love, is taking care of each other, supporting each other, and being a team.
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